Apparantly I planned for my incarnation to explore the topic of self-esteem and self-love with all the consequences.
What does this mean for me?
My self-esteem has been based on other people's opinions about me. Even though I now know better and react and act more self-confidently, I notice sometimes that this decades-long behavior has not completely changed.
Incidentally, of course I have tried to make all people around me happy, meanwhile I jokingly say that I'm a "People Pleaser". The helpers syndrome that always ensures that others should go well.
And what does my body say:
At some point the body can no longer take it and since I did not pull the emergency brake, my body has shown me. I was exhausted, no longer able to do my chores and depressed. In my opinion I did nothing. Meanwhile, I have created two websites in German and English, created two online shops in German and English, prepared and given seminars and workshops, cared for the household, changed the diet (as you can read on the blog Gesund Leben ), the USA Blog, finished the crystal skull cards and much more, but I always had the feeling I have not achieved enough.
Learning to deal with me was a challenge, a real challenge. To take the time for myself, to not have a guilty conscience if I did not do something (even when I still kept everything running)
Then at some point the moment came that I call spiritual burnout: In September 2017, I felt that everything I did was very egocentric in the business sphere and very quickly decided that this would not continue. Ego wise, because I had just expected something that was not fulfilled. I had actually expected that people in some way deal with me and the crystal skull, with all that I have to offer, even would need my services. Against a payment that is more than a "thank you". Yes, I had actually expected an income. In addition, I have always offered something for free in the hope that people will eventually have to resort to my services, to see that it is something good ....... and so on. I exaggerate it here in the words, but the basic idea is certainly clear.
My solution (s)
As the "coincidence" wants it (yes I know there are no coincidences, smile), I had a meeting with a lady on the subject of money (and also paid quite an amount for it). It turned out that I am a nursing person, someone who has the ruler in it but also the gambler who always tries to make the big luck in the game. The translation here: I want to help people, of course I know that there are (monetary) rules, but the gambler says: Let's do a free treatment or event then that will be the big breakthrough.
The result was that I wasted myself and had to brake. And I suddenly realized that this thinking is ego-thinking.
Spontaneously (1 day after having the above mentioned meeting) I decided to close my business. No more free treatments, no free seminars or workshops anymore, only time for me.
My decision shocked me, but also made me strong.
Another incident in November 2017 has strengthened me in this decision, because there was my self-confidence, my self-esteem and everything related to it again shaken up properly.
Then I could go on the path of healing that I still go. See also the following post: 5 tips to get out of the burnout. Incidentally, my crystal skulls have been with me the whole time, confirming this to me over and over again and still helping me every day. Each in his own way.
How did it go and continue?
In the meantime, I felt the need to finish my or, more specifically, our deck of cards, with which I always love to give readings. If I do something for free then it's just because I enjoy it. And I have chosen where I offer it, namely on gift days in Facebook groups or for a good cause and then only when I have time!
And I've come so much out of this burnout that I can help you find yourself and a healthy self-esteem. You can find a lot of information in my article 5 tips to overcome a burnout.
If you have any questions, please send me a message via the contact form
All the love for you
Kerstin Ajasha and the Crystal Skulls